I find this really stupid

Right now, even surrounded by my family, I still feel alone. Throughout our whole trip home Shawn has been taking charge in my thoughts. Which really shouldn't be happening because I know that breaking up was the right thing to do. I guess this dreaming about him has just been due to the fact that we talked on the phone last night, and during this trip I've been the extra wheel: Mom and Dad, Matt and Jaimie, Ross and Jessica. 
Going on adventures was something Shawn and I did every time we were together. He would love all the things we've been doing! Whatever we do; seeing famous landmarks, swimming in local water holes, catching crawdads in a river, or even just sitting in the car driving to our next destination, i feel he would love. It would be so much more fun if he were here with us.
This happens to me every once in a while...i get these really aching longings for him. I can't tell if i miss him because i miss who he is-Shawn, or if i miss just being accompanied by someone who I get along with so well. I severely still want to be friends with him and talk to him about anything and everything...but if these feelings and waves of sadness continue to occur...I don't know if it's going to be possible. However, I suppose being able to remain with him in some way is better than never being able to interact with him again. That would just be awful.

This song always reminds me of him. Probably because our first date we went dancing and he just blew my mind with how good he could dance. Then throughout the time we were dating he would pull me into the kitchen and he'd show me what he learned in his dance class that day. I loved dancing with him.

Yes world, I am a girl.

And I'm missing the only boy who has ever had me.