Unexpected Affection

I was scared. For some reason I didn't want to kiss him. Sure perhaps a yearish ago i would have...but tonight just seems way too fast. I guess I only would really get into a guy or kiss him if I verbally hear how he feels. Sometimes doing  things without verbal reassurance just doesn't make it feel as real as I do used. If anything driving home i just wanted to run into Shawn's arms. There it's warm and safe. Terribly sad. I was tense the whole way home-I couldn't get home fast enough. I don't know whats going to happen now or if my feelings will change. But as of now I just wanna curl up in bed and just dream away. At least there I have a real chance of being with Shawn. Does that mean I'm not over him? I think I'm just not over the ideal of him: a strong someone you trust you can turn to when things go differently than planned. Oh Garret. I was really not expecting that at all.