What was that 3rd wish...

Do you ever want to listen to a love song then while the music is playing

...you start to feel incredible lonely? 

Now that I'm getting older, the desired feeling to be with one man permanently is growing stronger than ever before.

Perhaps this feeling is arising because of all the talk of Matt and Jaimie getting married-it might be a nature effect-heck, it could be a sexual force, who really knows?

It's peculiar...

This thing called "love"

It's simply magic flowing in between two people.   

Mmm...I've always admired magic-so captivating and innocently divine. 

 

Unexpected Affection

I was scared. For some reason I didn't want to kiss him. Sure perhaps a yearish ago i would have...but tonight just seems way too fast. I guess I only would really get into a guy or kiss him if I verbally hear how he feels. Sometimes doing  things without verbal reassurance just doesn't make it feel as real as I do used. If anything driving home i just wanted to run into Shawn's arms. There it's warm and safe. Terribly sad. I was tense the whole way home-I couldn't get home fast enough. I don't know whats going to happen now or if my feelings will change. But as of now I just wanna curl up in bed and just dream away. At least there I have a real chance of being with Shawn. Does that mean I'm not over him? I think I'm just not over the ideal of him: a strong someone you trust you can turn to when things go differently than planned. Oh Garret. I was really not expecting that at all.

Where's my Map?

It's quite a reassurance to know that everyone you meet here on earth you'll also see again in heaven. 

I was just talking to my brother Adam whose about to go off to college, even though my other brother Matt and I just got back. It feels like no time at all has been spent with Adam. 

I was thinking about how so many people wish that they could keep their loved ones around them forever, for the sake of not having to loose them or having to go through an extended amount of time without them. It's something I believe everyone wishes for every now and then.

I wish they didn't have to leave

Why are they moving so far away?

Or the famous, I'm going to lock you up in my closet so I'll never have to let you go!

Which in all honesty sounds like the best thing to do at that time; for the closetee and the one putting them in the closet. However, how long can one truly stay happy being in someone else's closet? 

This topic got me thinking what would it have been like if I hadn't have gone to school in Idaho.

 

A Hopeless Wish

Once upon a time, there was a girl who wished she could experience a fairy tale. But asking for that is nothing short of a miracle. They're hard to come by now-in-days...and for those who do get them is because they're in desperate need of one...why waste a miracle on something such a love...

especially for someone who's never experienced it's beauty before...

To wish for love is like asking for summer in the middle of winter

...meaning whens one heart is as winter,  

It's hard for summer to dwell there. Eventually, they might encounter spring together...but winters not something to be taken lightly-it can be hard to endure and easy to give up while in.

             A wish for a fairy tale...what does she expect? A prince charming to confidently walk up to her and capture her heart? Will he have the power to stop her breath with just once glance? Will his smile be the most beautiful thing she's ever seen? Will his laugh send her into a state of ecstasy? Will his tears cause her world to break down piece by piece...tear by tear...will it be the same for him when he see's her live? This miracle she's wishing for is chimerical..."unreal"..."visionary"..."widely fanciful"...and highly unrealistic. Poor thing. She keeps on wishing on that lone star every night hoping that one day its dull shine will recognize her bright desires. She loves to believe so; however, wishing for a dream and living in a reality are two terribly different things. Some can live in the middle and prosper, but most wither and wilt...wishing their thirsted chap lips would savor the taste of true love. It gleams and glosses like the dew in the spring sunlight.                     

                          So pure...delicious and sweet. Desirable to all...attained by who? The few who are lucky enough to find it. 

                                                      
                        All that wishing will get her somewhere...someday. 

But as for now, she must find contentment sitting in that lonely...dreary tower...dreaming rather than living...poor dear has her eyes glazed over with the illusion of tomorrows possibilities. Each day ends with more heaps of disappointment. Soon enough that disappointment will build up...it will become heavier...it could possibly crush her...it probably will. It will, that is, if she keeper her neck ever strained toward unattainable hopes. It'll stiffen...and before she's even aware of it...she cannot move. 

Dreams of Gold and Moving-to wake up to Green

*Yawn* Ugh when you first wake up it's hard to think of anything good to talk about; however, today's going to be another morning, afternoon, and evening blog day. 
You know something I haven't done in a long time? Writing a letter to myself, and giving a futuristic date in which I can open it. Did that a lot when I was younger, but it's been ages. It's so much fun to! Your in so much anticipation when the open date starts getting closer :] We'll throw that on the list of things to do today.

Happenings to do Today:

1. Write a futuristic letter to me. 

I'm actually really excited about this!

My Mom, Grandy, and I are going to see the movie "The Help" this afternoon. It was a fabulous book, so hopefully the movie will be good as well. It's just...I'm probably going to be getting Shawn's letter today and if I get it before hand I'll be thinking about it's contents throughout the movie (probably), and  if we have to wait till afterwards to get it, I'll be thinking about if it's come and what it says while the movie is playing. Ugh I hope that made sense. 

I just can't imagine him saying anything else he hasn't already said before, so what was the point of sending the letter? That was the reason for that phone call a few weeks before school ended. Makes me wonder if he has anything new to say...

Since it didn't come yesterday I'm all in twitches hoping it'll come today. Then if the mail is slow and it doesn't get here till Monday? I definitely won't like that. Fingers crossed! &O_O&

Carnival Cruise!

Day 1:

Today began our first adventure, carrying three generations of family females, aboard the Carnival Cruise Line the “Inspiration”. 

It all started early this morning (early to some people anyway) with packing, eating the last of food, loading up the car and meeting Emma and Aunt Vicky at their house. It was a lot messier than I remembering it being…Aunt Vicky has been lacking a lot of energy lately, but it was crazy. I swear driving to the dock was one of the most exciting things! Then when you finally can see the top of the ship poking out through the sides of sky scrapers- it’s like a tantalizing dessert staring you in the face…but you have to eat your dinner first. Check in and all that took about 30 minutes, but not at all terrible compared to air ports. Also I believe the fact that we were waiting to get on a cruise rather than a plane made the waiting seem like nothing at all. Once you got your check in complete you just walked onto the boat. The moment on you first stepped on a ship is like nothing you’ll ever experience before. Because it was the first time, you’ll never be able to feel like you did at that time, ever again. You look up and see 5 golden floors going up stories high and secretly 5 levels below are underneath our feet, the colorful lights red, blue, and green are all lite up as if a spotlight was cast on your arrival onto the Inspiration, sunlight is streaming in through the skylight above our heads where you see flags waving and white clouds sailing by, the piano man is playing his comforting music at his baby grand while the bar tenders underneath the elevators are working hard to keep up with the orders of all the oncoming guests. We had to stop by customs to get rooms rearranged- which gave us plenty of time to spin in circles with our jaws hanging wide open admiring the grandeur of the vessel we just boarded.  

We ate lunch (MMM MONGOLIAN) in a packed dining hall filled to the brim with hungry passengers, went to locate our rooms, relaxed for a little while, and then went to explore the ship. Getting yourself situated in a ship this big is a must-plus it reminds me of being a pirate; Locating the booty surrounding each corner. After exploring we had to endure a short security demonstration/briefing, walked up to the top of the ship where they have a mini golf course. While we were up there the ship started to take off, which was perfect because we were on one of the best spots on the ship to look out at the oncoming water we were to intercept. There will always be a breeze when you’re on a cruise ship. Preceding all this, dinner time was closing in. We journeyed back to our rooms where we changed out of flip flops and walked to the Mardi Gras dining area where we had a wonderful meal! All of my dishes were scrumptious; however, some courses my comrades tried where less than splendid. Everything on the menu was only there for one night and changed the next day. I decided on an appetizer of Beef and Barely soup, head of ice burg lettuce salad, had a main course of wonderful lasagna that has spinach in it (Grandy agreed it was the best dish for dinner that evening-if it pleases her, you know it’s good.), then had a dessert consisting of Lime Sherbert and a cheese tasting plate. Yes, we will be obese when we roll off this ship on Monday. 

Then waddling to the Paris…hall? (Also Emma and I got to see a quick watch of break dancers’ show off their moves before the shows started) We got to enjoy and participate in 3 shows: Guess that Movie Star, So you think you know how to dance (Emma and I got to get onstage and was taught moves to the song Single Ladies by a super-hot, super good dancer Charlie from Australia), then watched a game show involving guest being the contestants-they were all fun and quite humorous. We walked to the buffet where we dined on ice cream, frozen yogurt, and pizza-all of which are opened 24/7. Grandy went back to the room and Emma, Aunt Vicky, Mom, and I explored more of the ship we didn’t get to see earlier in the day. Mom and Vicky then went off to bed and Emma and I went back to our room. I was in the mood to blog, so Emma went out exploring (to the singles dance they were having I believe. She brushed her hair then put on deodorant and body spray, so I presume that’s where she went.) I’m about to head to the top of the deck for a slice of pizza and more personal blogging on the top of the ship. We’ve had a wonderful day! More fun and adventures tomorrow, then our excursion in Cozumel, followed by our last full day at sea before arriving back at the port of Tampa 9 o’clock Monday morning. Until tomorrow evening!

Please Read

Men are quite fickle creatures aren't they? They can tear you up from the inside out without even knowing. They can make you soar like when standing on the nose of a boat.They control us with an invisible power most don't know they have.Suspicious huh? They say women are tricky, but I like to believe that men are like spiders. Very gently, they spin a soft, sticky, barely detectable web around us. That's why when we're gone from them we still feel them every once in a while. Their delicate web wont go away in an instant, but slowly over time. We forget about them until we feel the gentle tickle of their memory of our skin. Then after we hurriedly whip the memory off us, we can't help but think of them and all the memories you've spun together. It takes a while for that feeling to go away...but in time it does. Who can say if its fortunate or unfortunate. To some the memories may be harsh and unwelcoming. As to many others, they wish they could hold onto that small, fragile, thin memory-only to dwell in sadness when they see how easily it can disappear. Like a web, a memory of someone can jump suddenly on us, or gently float towards us and caress our skin-leaving a tingly sensation of emotions once felt. That's why a spiders web is in constant repair. We can't live on one set of memories alone, but we must constantly be adding onto what we have. And at times, completely start over. We may loose them, but eventually those threads of memory will come floating back to us once more. That my friend, is where dreams come into play.